ESTATE PLANNING: Choosing your children's guardian

Q: My husband and I have reluctantly decided on who we want to serve as guardian of our children. Do we need to let them know? If we change our minds, how difficult is it to replace the guardians?

A: Choosing a guardian for your children is a big decision. After all, this is the person that you are entrusting your children to in the event of your death. All of us hope we will be around to see our kids grow up and become upstanding citizens, but that doesn't always happen. Picking a guardian is big deal.

As you probably know by now, I am the father of three young boys. When my wife and I established our estate plans, we looked at all of the guardian options. Since most of my siblings live in Tucson and didn't have a lot of contact with the kids, they didn't seem like appropriate candidates. My wife's family is local but she's one of two so her family isn't that large. In the end we decided to simply authorize the trustee sell the kids on eBay ... just kidding.

Actually, the decision was a fairly easy one. We choose two people who have almost daily contact with the kids and have established a strong bond with them. For backups, we choose someone who didn't have day-to-day contact with the kids but still had a strong bond with them. She also happens to be an elementary school teacher who raised three terrific kids of her own.

Like I said, choosing a guardian for your kids is a big deal and I'm glad you are putting some thought into it. Here are a couple of suggestions.

First, pick someone who isn't only close to your children but also has the patience to be a parent. Let's face it, not everyone is cut out to be a mom or dad. That isn't a criticism but simply an observation. Raising kids is tough, and you need to pick someone who isn't going to be curled up in a ball by the end of the day.

Also, choose someone who is financially able to assume the responsibility. Kids are expensive to have around so you need to make sure they can afford them.

Also, if you decide on a married couple, remember that they may not always be married. What happens if you name your sister and brother-in-law guardians and they separate. Do you want your kids to go with your ex–brother–in–law? If not, maybe you only name your sister.

Now once you've chosen a guardian for your kids, sit down and talk with them and let them know. Make sure they are comfortable serving as guardians. And remember, if you change your mind later, you can always update the will. The appropriate person to serve as guardian today may not be the most appropriate person in a few years.

Opinions are solely the writer's. Christopher W. Yugo is a Crown Point attorney. Address questions to Yugo in care of The Times, 601 W. 45th Ave., Munster, IN, 46321 or to chrisyugolaw@gmail.com. Yugo's information is meant to be general in nature. Specific legal, tax, or insurance questions should be referred to your attorney, accountant or estate-planning specialist.