I was having lunch at a local restaurant with my kids this past week when Colin, my oldest son, asked me if I still wrote for the newspaper. When I told him that I did, he told me that I should write about him. After I asked him what I should write about, he gave me the "what are you, stupid?" look. Colin then followed up the look with "I don't know, you're the one who writes it." He is a delightful 9-year-old.
After my brief conversation with Colin, I looked around the table. Colin was now trying to get the attention of the server by yelling "excuse me!" Connor was busying himself by poking Logan, which of course led to Logan telling me that Connor was poking him. This led to Connor's denial that he was in fact poking, despite my witnessing the poking. Logan then responded with pokes of his own, which started the cycle all over again.
Kids are tough. They take your time and money, cause you stress and try your patience. In the nine years since my first child arrived, I've been thrown up on, kicked, bitten and told that I'm "the meanest dad in the world". That's quite a blow to your ego. On the other hand I consider myself lucky to have three healthy moderately well-behaved children.
Being a parent isn't for everyone. My mom and dad raised five and buried another one. They were great parents. Despite this, I remember my dad telling me that the reason he and my mother would never divorce was because of the children. He said neither of them wanted us. He was kidding of course; at least I think he was kidding.
Because I love my children, I've given a lot of thought as to who I would like to care for them should their mother and I not be available. Choosing a guardian for your children is one of the most important decisions that parent can make. Unfortunately, if you fail to designate a guardian, you run the risk of a court appointing a guardian without any input from you.
Since I want a say in who my children would live with, I have designated a guardian in my will. The people that we chose have a strong relationship with the kids, the patience to deal with the little knuckleheads and the financial ability to provide for them. The decision was made after a lot of discussion. We also sat down with the appointed people to make sure they would undertake the job. That's not the sort of thing that you want to spring on someone.
Even if you have raised your children, there is something you can do. A lot of young parents think that they don't need an estate plan because they don't have a lot and death is the furthest thing from their mind. Talk to them and tell them about what it was like raising them. Remind them that planning for their kids is one of the most important functions of a parent. Make them think about whom they would want to take care of their kids if something terrible happens.
Explain to your kids that bad things happen to good people everyday. Remind them that being a parent is more than just being there. It's also planning in the event you can't be.
Opinions expressed solely are those of the writer. Christopher W. Yugo is a member of the Indiana Bar and a vice president and senior trust Officer for First National Bank's Trust Department. Address questions to Yugo in care of The Times, 601 W. 45th Ave., Munster, IN, 46321. Yugo's information is meant to be general in nature. Specific legal, tax, or insurance questions should be referred to your attorney, accountant or estate-planning specialist.
