ROAD RANTS

Road Rants: A husband who is transformed into a celebrity behind the wheel and other rages

2013-05-25T00:00:00Z Road Rants: A husband who is transformed into a celebrity behind the wheel and other ragesBy Ben Brickman AUTO OUTRAGE CONTRIBUTOR nwitimes.com
May 25, 2013 12:00 am  • 

One very nice lady wrote in this week to explain that whenever her husband of over 40 years gets behind the steering wheel he is “Magically” transformed into Archie Bunker! I can hear it now, EDITH!!!! This is just perfect. This kind of imagery cannot be wasted upon just my cerebrum. What kind of person does your significant other transform into behind the wheel? And what would that person rant? What do you think Gary Busey is like behind the wheel? What would Gary do and say if pushed? Call this Celebrity Ranted.

Rant#1: Dan Rust wrote in to describe a truck heading west on 231 just before I-65. This is a no passing zone! In a quarter-mile it widens to 4-lanes. What do we find? This large box truck pulls over the double yellow and passes a car only to enter the turn lane and turn onto I-65 going north. The truck had a U.S. Mail on the side. Yes, you and I pay this knucklehead's salary.

Rant #2: One of our Valpo readers wrote that near the five points, they observed a driver who nearly stood a car up on its nose to miss a car that had stopped for a left turn, but was not using the perfectly good turning lane. The Reader commented “What the h*** were they thinking?” Archie would scream, “YOU'RE A MEATHEAD!!!”

Rant #3: One of my co-workers commented that all Illinois drivers seem to have cars programmed to run only one speed, 40mph. When they are in a 20 mph zone they are swerving to avoid slowing to the speed limit and running everyone over. But when you get out to a 50 mph zone they are now doing 40mph in the fast lane.

Rant#4: I have noticed since I moved out from the “left” coast that people stop behind the stop bars, then creep into the intersections while the stoplights are red. Sometimes they are halfway across before it turns green. Back home if we crept over the crosswalks you would get a $200 ticket for impeding pedestrian traffic. So what state has the worst drivers? I am from California, and Illinois has us beat, hands down. Dan Rust thought we should adapt the Illinois stoplight rule. After the light turns red, three more cars are allowed through. Nice going, are you colorblind?

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