'THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT': The problem that plagues so many Judd Apatow productions — the one that keeps good comedies from being great ones — unfortunately exists here, too. It's a matter of knowing when to say when, of knowing which bits should be trimmed and which should have been cut altogether. "The Five-Year Engagement" is so scattered and overlong, it really feels like it lasts five years, and even the inherent likability of stars Jason Segel and Emily Blunt cannot overcome the film's pervasive sense of strain. It becomes so tortured, it almost gets to the point where you hope these two will break up for good, just because it's the pragmatic thing to do and because it would finally wrap things up.
RATED: R
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'THE PIRATES! BAND OF MISFITS': Accompanied by his ragtag crew, an enthusiastic pirate captain (Hugh Grant) sails the high seas and dreams of besting his bitter rivals, Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven) and Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek), in a quest to win the coveted title of Pirate of the Year. The captain's quest takes him and his comrades from the exotic shores of Blood Island to Victorian London's foggy streets. Along the way, they battle an evil queen (Imelda Staunton) and join forces with a young scientist (David Tennant).
RATED: PG
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'SAFE': This is the worst Jason Statham movie since the last Jason Statham movie, carrying on the bargain-budget action star's tradition of building a body of work out of, well, dead bodies. Writer-director Boaz Yakin (who directed the gentle football drama "Remember the Titans" but now is back in the mode of his first-produced screenplay with Dolph Lundgren's vigilante tale "The Punisher") proves the ideal enabler for Statham's brand of mindless carnage. Together, they turn Manhattan into a shooting gallery, stacking up corpses in service of a supposed story about one man's path to redemption.
RATED: R
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'THE RAVEN': Director James McTeigue and his colleagues peck at Edgar Allan Poe's stories to fill out a plot that sounds sort of cool in concept — a serial killer using the author's fiction as a blueprint for ghastly murders — but is featherheaded in execution. John Cusack makes a terrible Poe, the somber role as one of literature's great tortured souls spotlighting his limitations as an actor.
RATED: R
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16
'CHIMPANZEE': Disneynature takes moviegoers deep into the forests of Africa with 'Chimpanzee,' a new True Life Adventure introducing an adorable baby chimp named Oscar and his entertaining approach to life in a remarkable story of family bonds and individual triumph. Oscar's playful curiosity and zest for discovery showcase the intelligence and ingenuity of some of the most extraordinary personalities in the animal kingdom. But when Oscar's family is confronted by a rival band of chimps, he is left to fend for himself until a surprising ally steps in and changes his life forever.
RATED: G
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16
'THE LUCKY ONE': Yet another adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel, so you know exactly what you're getting walking into this thing. It's predictable and schmaltzy and sappy and smothered with voiceover that explains the film's already none-too-subtle themes of destiny and fate. And yet ... and yet. In the hands of "Shine" director Scott Hicks, it does what it needs to do to please its target audience with a certain tasteful artfulness and the comforting familiarity of a 1950s melodrama. It's utterly forgettable and offers zero surprises but it's also harmless date-night fare made more appealing by the cast of Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling and especially Blythe Danner.
RATED: PG-13
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16
'THINK LIKE A MAN': What is essentially a shameless and overlong infomercial for Steve Harvey's dating advice book becomes more tolerable and even enjoyable at times with the help of an attractive, likable cast. Harvey's best-seller "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" serves as the launching pad for four intertwined stories in which various types couple up and try to make a go of it. There's The Dreamer (Michael Ealy) and The Woman Who Is Her Own Man (Taraji P. Henson), The Player (Romany Malco) and The 90-Day-Rule Girl (Meagan Good).
RATED: PG-13
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'THE CABIN IN THE WOODS': Stop reading this review right now. Go see the movie, then come back and we can have a conversation about it. The less you know going into it, the better. We can say this much: The hype is justified. And that's saying something when we're talking about geek god Joss Whedon, who produced and co-wrote the script with director Drew Goddard, a veteran of such revered TV shows as "Lost" and Whedon's own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Goddard makes his directing debut with this long-awaited film but he keeps all the moving parts humming along with thrilling fluidity and ease.
RATED: R
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'THREE STOOGES': While trying to save their childhood orphanage, Moe, Larry, and Curly inadvertently stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show in this Farrelly brothers revisit to a television slapstick classic.
RATED: PG
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
'AMERICAN REUNION': You probably haven't been lying awake in bed at night wondering whatever became of Stifler and Oz and the rest of the horny kids from the original "American Pie" movie. Yet here they are, after 13 years and a couple of sequels, and they're more bland than bawdy these days. That's part of the joke: that they (and we) aren't in high school anymore, that we all have to grow up and function as adults with responsibilities and whatnot. But that doesn't make for a very fun or funny movie; instead, "American Reunion" relies on cliches about nostalgia and melodrama about the rekindling of first loves.
RATED: R
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16
'THE HUNGER GAMES': Fans should be satisfied with director Gary Ross' adaptation of the first of Suzanne Collins' best-selling trio of novels about Katniss Everdeen, the independent, 16-year-old heroine fighting for survival in a futuristic, fascist society. The script adheres rather closely to Collins' book - no surprise there since she co-wrote it with Ross and Billy Ray. Still, the makers of "The Hunger Games" have managed the difficult feat of crafting a film that feels both epic and intimate at once. And Jennifer Lawrence is an ideal choice to play Katniss.
RATED: PG-13
SHOWING: AMC Showplace Schererville 12 and 16, Showplace Hobart 12, Cinemark at Valparaiso, Portage 16, Lansing 8
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