MOM MOMENTS: A mom's biggest fear — public washrooms

When I became a mother, there were so many things that worried me and made me anxious. I wanted to make sure baby was eating enough and warm enough and sleeping enough. I worried he was sleeping too much or not warm enough or getting too dependent on a pacifier or spitting up too much or not burping enough. There's a never-ending list of concerns that plague new parents.

Of course, as time progressed, new worries were introduced. I worried if he didn't want to eat or that he was going to grab something small and put it in his mouth.

Then I worried he would fall down when he learned to walk or that he didn't want to nap anymore. I worried about him reaching each milestone at the appropriate time.

Now my firstborn is teenager and I worry that he isn't sleeping enough or I worry about what he's doing when he's not at home or how he's driving.

Sometimes I think I worry way too much. Sometimes I think I don't worry enough. Sometimes I feel confident that many other mothers out there have precisely the same concerns that I do.

One thing that I never thought much about when my kids were babies, but became huge later on was the bathroom situation. I'm not talking about potty training. That's a whole other can of worms. I'm talking about public washrooms.

Where do I start? Well, we all know that kids touch everything and a public bathroom is probably the place you want most for them to touch NOTHING. I guess I have a touch of public bathroom phobia. I place a barrier of toilet paper between my hand and the handle before I flush. I push a door open with my elbow rather than using my hand. And if I see someone leave the bathroom without washing their hands I just want to shake them and slap some disinfectant on their hands.

Kids, of course, grab handles and put their hands upon the sink counter and even have no qualms about picking up something they drop on the floor. There's only so much you can do. You can watch them carefully, encourage them to touch as few things as possible and keep yourself armed with a bottle of antimicrobial hand wash.

There's also another problem I found myself faced with as my children grew. I have no girls, only boys. At what point do you allow them to use a public bathroom on their own? No one ever bats an eye if you bring a 2-year-old boy into a women's bathroom with you, but insist that a 5- to 8–year–old use a stall in a women's bathroom and you not only encounter looks from the other females using the facilities, but resistance from the child who doesn't want to go in there. Believe me, it's quite a quandary.

It's usually not an issue if I have more than one child with me. I figure they will look out for each other (and tattle if needed,) although I stand close outside the door listening for horseplay and I'll admit I've stuck my head inside a couple washroom's with a men's sign on the door when I heard two kids goofing around or when I heard nothing for a while when a lone child had gone in.

The set–up of men's bathrooms makes me a little squeamish, also. Women go in stalls with closed doors. Men go out in the open in urinals in front of others. It's something about the opposite sex that will always seem a little strange to me. And I can't help but wonder what my sons see when they use a public restroom.

On the other hand, I feel a little bit of relief sometimes at having sons and not having to completely line a toilet for a girl with seat covers or toilet paper before every use. And it was always a relief to find a family bathroom, which have become more common in places that are frequented by parents and children.

So, although typical topics like nutrition and sleep are big worries for moms, the worry of my kids using public bathrooms is one I didn't anticipate, but ended up at the top of the list.

The opinions expressed are solely the writer's. Carrie Steinweg, the mother of five, lives in Lansing. Reach her at csteinw@yahoo.com.