At Home: Do-it-yourself home repairs for women

For weeks, the gap in the weather stripping at the base of the front door invited outsiders in like a seaport. Large insects, frogs and lizards arrived with their luggage.

I needed to get this hole fixed, and was waiting for my husband, Dan, to be in town long enough to do the job. Before that day arrived, which was not soon enough, I set women's rights back 30 years.

I was cooking dinner. My two daughters were helping. Dan was out running an errand. As one of the girls set the table, she moved the centerpiece and a 10-inch lizard ran out.

I heard her scream and ran in. I see the reptile, now 24 inches, and scream. The other daughter runs in, sees what is now surely a baby alligator and screams.

The critter, equally horrified, darts behind the pine hutch. The girls and I compose ourselves, then huddle to discuss entrapment schemes.

"Get a big bowl and a beach towel," I say. "I'll keep my eye on him."

The girls return armed. We flush the intruder from behind the hutch. Then, slam! My 10th grade geometry class kicks in as I rediscover that a round bowl cannot catch a lizard in a square corner.

More screams. Someone throws the beach towel on the lizard. He wriggles beneath the towel. More screams. We put the bowl on top of the wriggling part of the towel.

Whew. Containment.

Heart rates fall. The girls looked at me in a now-what way. Then in a moment of unforgivable female role modeling, I say: "We need to find us a man!"

"Rob!" says my younger daughter.

"Yes!" I say.

Rob lives across the street. He's a young father, strong and brave, and is always out front working on projects. We run outside. Rob is not working on any projects. Rob apparently has other plans. We look up and down the street for a man but don't find one.

"Men!" I say, making my poor modeling moment worse. "Never around when you need them." We go back inside and watch the bowl, which occasionally inches across the floor. More screams. We're pathetic.

Dan returns. We assail him with the lizard news. Over the years, he has become very adept at processing high-speed verbal assaults from three women at once. He doesn't say a word, which I like in a man, but goes straight for the problem.

He scoops up the towel with the live creature inside, and releases the critter into the front yard. Then he fixes the gap in the front door, which I should have done in the first place.

Stephen Fanuka, host of DIY Network's "Million Dollar Contractor," and author of the DIY fix-it guide "What's a Homeowner to Do?" (Artisan, November 2011), couldn't agree more. "There's absolutely no reason you can't do any DIY repair that a guy can do," he said. Then he gave me a list of the basic tools and some fix-it know-how every girl should have:

• Create a tool kit. Include a hammer, screwdrivers, a wrench, a 12-foot tape measure, a pocket level, pliers and a small crowbar. I have a set of pink and purple tools made to fit a female hand.

• When you hammer. Hold a nail with pliers to gain more stability and confidence, Fanuka said. Or place an index card on the surface and poke the nail through, so the card holds the nail upright, then hammer away. Apply glue for insurance.

• When installing a screw. The bigger the handle, the better the control and the more torque you have. Drilling a pilot hole, slightly smaller than the screw, into the wood can make it easier to install the screw. If you have a tight screw application, rub liquid soap on the screw.

• To unclog a toilet. Shut off the valve behind the toilet, so the toilet doesn't overflow. Place the round end of the toilet plunger (another must-have item) in the hole over the throat of the toilet. Keeping the plunger firmly on the surface, lift up and down a few times working the clog. Then, with a quick upward motion, remove the plunger from the hole. If the water flushes, success. If not, repeat the process.

• Seal the cracks. If grout between tiles gets cracked, water can seep through and create unbelievable problems. If you have cracked grout, remove the old grout with a utility knife, reseal joints with new grout. (Make sure it matches.) Mix water and dry grout until you have an almost pasty mix. Apply to tile, let dry and wipe excess away with a wet sponge.

• Fill the gaps. Waterproof, non-sanded flexible caulk is a DIYer's best friend. Apply it where cold air leaks into the house at perimeter windows inside and out (but not on the operative parts). Also fill gaps between moldings and walls or ceilings, and seal spaces between tubs or sinks and tile.

• Replace worn door sweeps. It keeps varmints out and your heat or cooled air in. Get the kind that is metal and rubber, not the cheap plastic kind. Peel and stick weather stripping is good for vertical sides of doors. And if a lizard still gets in? "I'd just get a big vacuum and suck that baby up," Fanuka said.

While it's nice to have a man around the house, when mine's not, I have Fanuka's book, and his cell phone number.

Clarification: Thanks to all the electricians who wrote to straighten out the electrical information supplied last week: In an average 120-volt circuit, one amp provides 120 watts. In a 220-volt circuit, it provides 220 watts. Also, if your breaker needs to be reset repeatedly, try removing load from the circuit by unplugging stuff before calling an electrician.

Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is a humorous syndicated home-design columnist, speaker, and author of "House of Havoc" and "The House Always Wins" (Da Capo Press). Reach her at marnijameson.com.