MUNSTER | Talking about suicide isn't easy, but it's essential for those who might be considering it and for loved ones left behind.

Asking, "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" isn't going to motivate someone who's depressed to kill himself, said Sandy Appleby, one of four panelists who gathered Wednesday evening at the Jewish Federation Community Building in Munster to counsel the community following two teenage boys' suicides.

The question is the first step on the path toward suicide prevention and, ultimately, a better life.

"The journey of depression is a long, hard journey," said Appleby, of the Northwest Indiana Suicide Prevention Coalition.

Although not everyone who is depressed will commit suicide, there is a strong relationship between the two, said Rene Pichler-Mowry, service director for the Lakeside Counseling Center in Highland.

"So it's important to know about the risk factors," she said.

For loved ones left behind, suicide is often sudden, always traumatic and violent, said Robyn Kaplan Seidman, a social worker and one of the panelists. Suicide carries a negative stigma, and it's important for suicide survivors to remember that not everyone will be supportive.

"It's important, if you need to talk, to find safe outlets -- people who are comfortable with the topic," Seidman said.

Those who listen must remember it's not their job to make a grieving person forget the loss suicide creates. Their job is to listen, maybe to say something kind about the person who died, said Rabbi Joseph Ozarowski, a grief counselor.

"Comfort, comfort and comfort again. The bereavement never ends. It's a wound, and a wound heals, but there's a scar left."