Valentine's Day has mass appeal, but ostensibly Christian holiday not celebrated by all

When Michael Steinberg was a kid, he attended public school and exchanged cards with friends on Valentine's Day.

But the Munster preschool K'Ton Ton, which is operated by the Jewish Federation of Northwest Indiana where Steinberg serves as president, does not observe Valentine's Day because of the holiday's roots in Christianity.

Steinberg said he thinks many people may be surprised non-Christian schools don't celebrate or acknowledge Valentine's Day, "but I don't think anyone would expect Jews to celebrate Christmas."

Valentine's Day has not been recognized as a saint's day in the Catholic Church since 1969 when church leaders acknowledged confusion over which martyred priest in ancient Rome was the real St. Valentine.

Matthew Becker, an associate theology professor at Valparaiso University, said people started celebrating the holiday after a priest named Valentine or Valintinus was beheaded for marrying young lovers in defiance of the orders of Roman Emperor Claudius II.

"Valentine's Day is probably associated more with the Roman festival (Lupercalia)," Becker said. "This was connected with fertility. People also thought birds began to copulate at this time."

Becker said whether the celebration's roots were truly in Pagan or Christian rituals, he believes it is now secular.

"St. Patrick's Day was a Christian holiday that has become secularized to a day when people wear green, eat Irish food and drink Irish ale," Becker said. "Valentine's Day now is a day to give chocolates and flowers."

Sister Mary Paul McCaughey, superintendent of the Archdiocese of Chicago Catholic Schools, said the schools do try to reference the various priests who have been credited with the acts of St. Valentine over the years but do not consider it a religious holiday.

"I think our main concern in our schools is always that it is handled with a great deal of taste and care because it is a secular holiday, no matter how you cut it," she said. "If anything, we wish it would be more Christian."

McCaughey said Catholic school students tend to celebrate like public school students.

"Most of the time, the kids do something cute, wear red, have a little sweetness in their day, and I think that's good in the gloomy days of winter," McCaughey said.

Padmini Makam, president of Chinmaya Mission at Bharatiya Temple in Merrillville, said Hindus do not celebrate Valentine's Day, but young people learn about it in Sunday school classes.

"We talk about love and friendship for Valentine's Day," Makam said. "We have small stories showing the love for each other, kindness, friendship, all of those."

Makam, a native of India, said temple leaders believe the children should understand American cultural celebrations, regardless of their religious roots, "so each child will not have that 'It's not my holiday' or 'I'm not supposed to celebrate' attitude."

Swami Vasisht, priest at Bharatiya Temple, said discussing the virtues in other religious or cultural festivals helps to remind Hindus of their own beliefs.

"Love is not only celebrated on one day for us, just like there is no Mother's Day or Father's Day," Vasisht said. "Every day is Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day."

Imam Mongy El-Quesny, of the Northwest Indiana Islamic Center in Crown Point, takes a similar approach.

"I don't really celebrate, but it's up to the people," El-Quesny said. "I see Valentine's Day as one day to celebrate loving a person, but it should be every second, every day."

Much of the American Valentine's Day tradition, he said, goes against Islamic law.

"To Islam, most who celebrate Valentine's Day are not really married, the boyfriend and the girlfriend," he said. "In Islam, we don't really have this type of relationship before marriage."

El-Quesny said a young member of the center once asked him if it was OK to celebrate Valentine's Day.

"I told him it's not just for a certain day, it's for every day," he said. "I spoke with these kids and told them you can exchange and express your love at any moment. Most of the nation celebrates for one day. For you, it should be every single day."