GUEST COMMENTARY: Help teens stay safe in dating relationships

2013-04-06T17:00:00Z 2013-07-12T18:59:12Z GUEST COMMENTARY: Help teens stay safe in dating relationshipsBy Bill Stanczykiewicz
April 06, 2013 5:00 pm  • 

Prom season can create a lifetime of memories, but many teenagers suffer experiences that carry a lifetime of consequences.

Teen dating violence in Indiana consistently is higher than national averages. Fifteen percent of female high school students report being raped on a date – the second highest rate in the nation.

In 2009 nearly 11 percent of female high school students reported being hit, slapped or physically hurt by their date, again higher than the U.S. average. In addition, 12 percent of high school males reported being victimized by the person they were dating.

According to a Cornell University study, young women who endured dating violence in their teen years are more likely to suffer depression, have suicidal thoughts and engage in binge drinking. Young men also are more likely to be suicidal, abuse drugs and engage in delinquent behaviors if they suffered teen dating violence.

The Cornell study also found teens who are abused or assaulted during a date are two to three times more likely to again be victims of dating violence as adults.

“Adolescence is a time when teens start to date and learn about healthy relationships,” said Cornell’s Deinera Exner-Cortens. “So when their earliest dating experiences are unhealthy, it may negatively affect a teen’s view of what a healthy dating relationship looks like.”

The Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault says dating violence warning signs include physical injury, truancy, falling grades, changes in mood, including an increase in emotional outbursts, drug and alcohol abuse, and not spending time with friends without “permission” from the teen they are dating.

Extreme jealousy, unpredictable mood swings, use of force during an argument, cruelty to animals and children, online bullying and threats of violence are additional controlling and violent behaviors of which teens should be aware.

Teens also should be aware that they can find local services and assistance by calling (800) 656-HOPE.

Most important, Exner-Cortens said, adults need to model and discuss healthy relationships, including qualities such as respect, safety, support, honesty, good communication and equality. These discussions, she says, should start in middle school, before children begin dating.

“By doing that, kids will know that the parent is someone they can go to for help if they start to feel concerned or worried about a relationship that they’re in,” she said.

State law requires schools to teach students about healthy dating relationships, and community organizations also can influence healthy dating behaviors. The Indiana attorney general’s office hosts the Indiana Safe Student Initiative, providing training to teachers and youth workers about how to talk with teens about healthy relationships and preventing dating violence.

As prom season approaches, we need to model healthy behavior and help teens stay safe in their dating relationships. Now, and for their futures.

Bill Stanczykiewicz is president and CEO of the Indiana Youth Institute. He can be reached at The opinions are the writer's.

Copyright 2014 All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Follow The Times

Featured Businesses

Submit a Letter to Editor

We welcome letters from readers on any issue of public interest, and make every effort to publish as many as we can and in a timely manner. The Times will publish only one letter a month from a writer, and be sure to include your name, address and a telephone number for verification. Letters should be 150 words or less. They will be edited.

Letters may be submitted:
  • Via our submission form.
  • Via e-mail.
  • Via fax: (219) 933-3249 or (219) 465-7298
  • Via mail or by hand to our offices:
    • 601 45th Ave., Munster, IN 46321
    • 2080 N. Main St., Crown Point, IN 46307
    • 1111 Glendale Blvd., Valparaiso, IN 46383
    • 3410 Delta Dr., Portage, IN 46368
    • Please mark envelopes with "Attn: Letters"


Email Editorial Page Editor Doug Ross or call (219) 548-4360 or (219) 933-3357



Who do you support for the U.S. House of Representatives in District 1?

View Results