PHIL WIELAND: Don't shoot the deer before Christmas this year

As Johnnie Cochrane, the late attorney of O.J. Simpson trial fame, might say: "If the deer have ticks, you must kill them quick."

Or, as Cochrane might say if he were hired by the other side in the Ogden Dunes deer cull debate: "Until the appeal is heard, the cull must be deferred."

You gotta love a legal system that lends itself to rhyme.

Porter Superior Court Judge Roger Bradford dodged a bullet Wednesday with a grace the deer might soon envy. Some Ogden Dunites sought an order to delay the cull until after a hearing Dec. 29 before the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, but Bradford said he had no jurisdiction in the case at this point.

Bradford said cull opponents had not exhausted the administrative remedies with the IDNR. The opponents said by the time they exhaust those remedies, the town could have a batch of orphaned Bambis on their hands because the ruling essentially allows the town to proceed under the IDNR permit to kill 40 deer.

The ruling does seem to leave the opponents and the deer at the mercy of the council majority that favors the kill. Nobody is saying when Serenity Park, the location of the cull, will become ground zero. They did say residents will be notified before the shooting starts.

The issue has polarized the town between the nature lovers, who put out salt licks for the deer, and those concerned about the high incidence of Lyme disease and (for at least some) shrubicide, who favor the use of small tactical nuclear weapons against the deer. Naturally, the lawyers provided the voice of reason in the debate. NOT!

Charles Parkinson, lawyer for the proponents, said the opponents were delaying the process and "sitting on a lot of rights." Larry Evans, arguing for the opponents, called the pro-cullers "lawless" and said they don't respect the law or the judicial process.

Another great thing about the legal system is those same arguments could be mixed and matched for use by either side even with lawyers who can't rhyme like Cochrane.

Some question whether the Lyme disease cases were the result of deer bringing the ticks into Ogden Dunes or of people picking them up as unwelcome hitchhikers while walking outside the community. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to do a tick cull.

Cull opponents now are asking the IDNR to stall the cull until after the hearing. It would be sporting for the council to do so. The permit is good until Feb. 15 and can no doubt be extended, if necessary.

Besides, with the holidays so close, it would be a shame if one of the "deer" ended up with a Purple Heart to go with his red nose.

The opinions are those of the writer. He can be reached at phil.wieland@nwi.com or (219) 548-4352.