Just in case the world didn't end today, as some believe the Mayans predicted, I offer this rhyme as a substitute disaster.
They say the world is ending,
The final curtain's pending,
And today won't be just another day.
The thought is pretty numbing
That Santa might not be coming
I think the Mayans took his sleigh.
If the sun comes up Saturday,
Does that mean it's safe to say
The world might still continue if
We can stop the demonizing,
The politics of polarizing,
And step away from the fiscal cliff.
But, if today's our last one
How could some ancient Mayan
Foresee the fate that's coming due.
Are aliens going to bomb us?
And why didn't Nostradamus
Tell us that the end was coming too?
For end-of-the-world advice,
A second opinion's nice.
It's best for any day or age.
No sense in us all crying.
Shouldn't somebody be trying
To find the calendar's next page?
They have kiosks at the mall
With calendars for all
Occasions with Elvis on the cover.
Or make a dash to Walmart
And grab some granny's push cart
And, if she fights you, shove her.
Let nothing slow your mission
To get a new edition.
Ask if anybody saw one.
Recruit the National Guard,
But, if that proves too hard,
Then just sit down and draw one.
It's not like you'll mislead them
Since nobody can read them.
So draw some squarish figures on a rock.
Make sure they look like Mayan
Or possibly Hawaiian
But be sure you reset the clock.
You can say the end is due
In twelve thousand ninety-two
Or some other far distant year.
It doesn't really matter
If the Earth will heave and shatter
As long as we're no longer here.
We need more time to argue
Over the cause and also who
To blame for the world's untimely end.
Was it Sandy's storming?
What about global warming?
Was it the whole gay marriage trend?
Don't keep playing cat and mouse
In the Senate and the House
When real people's lives are at stake.
When all they do is filibuster,
We have less chance than General Custer
Of surviving the sincerity they fake.
It seems so very wrong
We can't all get along
Especially at this giving time of year.
We sing carols that are full of
Thoughts of peace, joy and love
While preaching who to hate and fear.
If we don't improve ourselves,
Neither Santa nor his elves
Can save us from this Mayan demise.
And, if the Earth's end is here
And we're all about to disappear,
It could be God decided to downsize.