PHIL WIELAND: Ogden Dunes deer hunt a close cull for residents

It's tough to figure out if Ogden Dunes residents are in greater danger from Lyme disease or high-velocity lead poisoning.

The Town Council is debating whether to allow a deer cull in an area known as Serenity Park, which suddenly sounds like something of a misnomer, especially if you happen to be a deer.

"Cull" is an interesting way to describe the systematic killing of animals. It's usually used in the context of removing misshapen, undersized or otherwise unattractive fruits or vegetables to put your best crop forward for the customers. Deer aren't vegetables or fruits, nor are they misshapen, undersized or otherwise unsuitable, at least physically.

I'm not going to go all mushy about the killing of Bambi's mom here. I empathize to some extent with residents over the damage deer can cause to landscaping and other greenery. I've quit growing a vegetable garden the past few years because the deer were getting a healthier diet out of it than I was.

And it's hard to argue with those concerned about the danger of Lyme disease, which is carried by deer ticks and, if untreated, can even be fatal. It's sort of the animals' way of culling us. I don't know how up close and personal you have to be with a deer to be in danger, but I can figure out the math that, if you don't have deer, you probably won't have deer ticks.

What makes me most queasy is going all Operation: Shock and Awe on the deer in a community the size of Ogden Dunes.

The council took the first step this week by approving an amendment to allow the discharge of firearms within the town limits. The action came despite sizable public opposition and town surveys that showed most residents oppose the cull.

Checking the map on just how big Ogden Dunes is, I had to squint because I'm old and Ogden Dunes is a small community. George Washington allegedly threw a silver dollar almost far enough to make it across the town, especially if he got a couple of favorable skips, because a dollar went a lot farther in those days.

They will not be tossing coins in Ogden Dunes. It will be deer rifles with bullets that travel a lot farther than the 300 to 500 feet someone said is the distance to the homes around Serenity Park. They might want to change the name to Nervous Acres with hunters firing from all directions in such a small area.

They could end up culling a few humans as far away as Portage, which the deer might appreciate. Maybe the real answer is flea and tick collars, but I doubt the humans would wear them.

The opinions are those of the writer. He can be reached at phil.wieland@nwi.com or (219) 548-4352.