PHIL WIELAND: Someone should investigate why spring is so late

2013-03-29T00:00:00Z PHIL WIELAND: Someone should investigate why spring is so lateBy Phil Wieland phil.wieland@nwi.com, (219) 548-4352 nwitimes.com

As families prepare to eat Easter ham,

They're hoping March will go out like a lamb.

Winter, it seems, has hung on too long.

Snowstorms this late, well, it's just wrong.

There are those who think a license to kill

Should be issued against Punxutawney Phil.

Just because that furry little rabbit thing.

Didn't see his shadow, we thought we

Were going to have an early spring

So flowers could bloom and birds sing.

Instead, it's like winter just started.

I guess Old Man Winter outsmarted

Pennsylvania's oversized rat.

Who could have predicted that?

We need a little color and greenery

To brighten up our dreary scenery.

While we're awaiting the Easter Bunny's goodies,

The robins are hopping around in hoodies.

The sandhill cranes arrived in a swarm,

Then went north again - where it's warm.

Glaciers and the ice caps are dwindling,

While we're using the furniture for kindling.

Lately, so much snow has been falling,

I expect Santa, not Mr. Bunny, to come calling.

It doesn't have to be hot enough to bask

On a beach, but is it too much to ask

To be able to wear some lighter clothes

And to melt this icicle under my nose?

(If it's not an icicle, it might

Be something like a stalactite.

It reaches almost to the floor.

I really should try to move around more.)

I'm weary of wearing coats and long sleeves.

I'm ready for shorts and green leaves.

(I don't mean I want to be growing

Buds on my limbs or that I'll be mowing

Sprouts of new grass on top of my head.

Sorry, that patch is already dead.)

Even without leaves the aspens are quaking.

The sap should be running so we can be making

Syrup for lots of breakfast pancaking.

Oh, why is this infernal spring taking

So long to arrive? Is it a plot?

Has some crazy terrorist group got

Spring held hostage? Did they molest her?

Or is she a victim of the sequester?

We need more sunshine, fewer icy breezes,

More warming days, fewer temperate teases.

Enough with the snow-slicked roads and skidding.

Give us some spring, and I'm not kidding.

Who can we blame? Find someone to sue.

I bet it's the fault of Congressman You-Know-Who.

Let's find out who was the one to guide it;

Who was involved, who tried to hide it.

Start the inquiry; no time should be lost.

We need some answers; the heck with the cost.

It's just what we need to help erase

Any thoughts we have about the real problems we face.

Just make sure our inquiry's complete

In time to complain about the summer's heat.

The opinions are those of the writer. He can be reached at phil.wieland@nwi.com or (219) 548-4352.

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