Got the perfect Super Bowl XLVI deal for you and the family, and it won't cost a second mortgage.
Fluffy couch. A big recliner. Pizza delivery. A fridge full of liquid refreshment.
It's the best way to watch Sunday's game at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, probably the only way unless you struck gold or found oil in the backyard.
The year's biggest sporting event, once again, is like being robbed with a water pistol. You feel so stupid afterward.
Don't believe me. Believe veteran broker John Wilson of Box Seat Tickets in Valparaiso. He provides access to these mega-events on a daily basis.
"A lot of people are shocked, because they're from Indiana, and they've never been to a Super Bowl," Wilson said. "The cheapest ticket right now is around $2,800 -- to get in the door.
"You're going up to $9,500 or $10,000 a ticket for the best seat in the house, lower level, between the 40-yard lines."
For corporate seats, "you're going totally crazy" Wilson added, "because now you're up to a quarter of a million dollars for a 20-person corporate suite."
America's Game, eh? And what part of America is that? Not where you or I live.
Not that anyone will be passing the hat for Colts owner Jim Irsay, but even he got "stiffed" by the NFL, according to Wilson.
"The NFL bought all those suites at Lucas Oil. Different people own those suites and lease 'em on five-year contracts," Wilson said. "Well, the NFL took all the suites, and Irsay had to pay $80,000 to buy his suite back just for that game.
"Isn't that crazy?"
As was reported months ago, the NFL had also purchased all the hotel rooms in Indianapolis, then hiked the rates for a four-day minimum stay.
Parking is a minimum of $100 a day. That's $400, and many people don't earn that in a week.
"Indianapolis really is a small venue for hotel rooms," Wilson said. "That's the biggest problem. People come in. They can get tickets, but where are they gonna stay?
"They've got to go to Lafayette or head down to Louisville to get rooms."
Wilson said he heard rumors that hotels along the U.S. 30 corridor in Merrillville and Hobart, 3 1/2 hours away, were offering rooms for Sunday's game.
As of Tuesday, Wilson had sold 14 Super Bowl tickets at an average price of about $3,300. This wasn't a sales pitch he was giving but a warning.
"Fans just don't know. They call up and think (tickets) are gonna go for $100 or $200. But the face price alone is $1,000, and that puts into perspective how expensive it is," he said.
If you're from out of state and bringing along your wife, better guard that plastic.
"Before it's over, even with a $1,000 ticket, it easily costs over 10 grand for a hotel room, flight and to eat a hamburger at McDonald's," Wilson laughed.
That couch and stocked fridge never looked better.
This column solely represents the writer's opinion. Reach him at email@example.com