The following sappy lyrics are from the "We Are LeBron" video -- sung to the tune of "We Are The World."
There comes a time when a decision must be made
Will the King move on or will he stay?
We're helplessly waiting, as we hold our breath in fear
Should we renew our tickets for next year?
Please stay, LeBron. We really need you
No bigger market's gonna love you half as much as we do
It's a choice you're making, will you go or will you stay?
What will we do with that big sign, if you move away?
Just tell us, King, what changes we must make
We'll rename every street 'LeBron' if that's what it takes
New York's overcrowded. Those people are unbearable
And don't forget, the Knicks and Nets are terrible
Please stay, LeBron. We really need you
No bigger market's gonna love you half as much as we do
Listen to yourselves, people. Stop your whining and begging.
Never in recent memory has a professional athlete held the sporting world hostage in his free-agent season. Cleveland megastar LeBron James is shopping his game around, and where he'll wind up is anyone's guess, though rumors have taken over the NBA landscape like clover in a pasture.
That shameless video, featuring Cleveland public officials and celebrities, was made while the Cavaliers and Celtics were battling in the Eastern Conference semifinals. When the top-seeded Cavs were eliminated early, James' supporting cast became suspect and 29 other NBA franchises cheered "God save the King -- for us!"
Among the reported frontrunners in the bidding war for James are the Knicks, Nets, Clippers, Cavs, Heat and our Bulls. Many "experts", meaning anyone with a Facebook page, believe the biggest selling point will be whichever team is closest to that elusive NBA title.
James has been told by fellow superstars Dwyane Wade and Kevin Garnett that his legacy, his true greatness, will be measured in the number of championship rings on his fingers, not an obscene salary or untouchable stats.
And they're right.
I find all this hand-wringing and those bleeding-heart websites quite humorous.
We've been inundated with daily stories and testimonials concerning Cleveland's 46-year titleless streak in major pro sports. So what? Nobody outside that city cares.
But you know how this country rolls. Sports heroes are gods.
LeBron in Chicago? Four reasons, say the experts, again: Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, Taj Gibson, Luol Deng.
I e-mailed Michael Jordan for his response to the Bulls chasing James and was told by the Charlotte Bobcats' media relations people that because MJ's the team president, any comments would be considered tampering.
But according to the rumor mill, Jordan is telling friends James will bring his entourage to Chicago. If so, good luck getting Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf to embrace all the clowns and hangers-on who follow.
And isn't that what this comic opera really is, a circus?
Mayor Michael Bloomberg says LeBron would love living in New York, because, doesn't everybody? Liar.
One radio station there wants to change the Bronx to LeBronx.
A caller to WMVP-AM (1000) in Chicago suggested inscribing LeBron's likeness and his signature on the 110-ton, stainless steel "Bean" in Millennium Park. Anywhere else, it's called vandalism.
We've also heard LeBron texted Rose, saying he'd like to play alongside the young Bulls guard in Chicago. The source allegedly was a friend of a friend of a friend of LeBron's.
NBA commissioner David Stern warned the league will not tolerate teams recruiting free agents before July 1, then jokingly added the paranoia surrounding James, Wade, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer, Joe Johnson and Amare Stoudemire may force him to hide under his desk until the dust clears.
And we still have 39 days of this "King" nonsense to endure.
By the way, just what is LeBron James the king of? He's yet to win a title in seven seasons and has reached the NBA Finals only once, in 2007.
As explosive and multi-talented as James is, he lacks the killer gene of a Kobe Bryant or Wade. That'll eventually come because his game still is evolving.
James also is known to be fiercely loyal, but we'll see when July 1 gets here. Does he re-up with the Cavs or bid adieu to his hometown of Akron and walk?
Once upon a time, Cleveland rocked, then lost Drew Carey. Maybe it was an omen of things to come.
This column solely represents the writer's opinion. Reach him at al.hamnik@nwi.com.
Find out whether Times readers believe LeBron James will join the Bulls this coming season. PAGE B2
