hurk27

  1. There is a sad hidden problem with a story like this, that is the understanding of human behavior, in doing human behavior studies for many years I have seen this story play out many times and sadly in many of these cases the end result is someone being killed or so mentally damage they will never be able to trust another relationship.

    It's all about possession, these types of relationships are not a free will relation but more of a one sided ownership, this guy thinks she is his possession and he owns her, and he thinks he has the right to do anything to her he wants and she has no rights to walk on him.

    Every time I see this pattern its always the same, and it is a pattern/profile that we can watch for when a friend or a love-one gets involved with someone who fits this pattern.

    Here is what to watch for :
    When someone you know or a love-one starts dating another look for a fake front put on by this other person,
    Look for signs of selfishness, signs that clearly show that they are only interested in what they want not what the other person wants or needs, many times this takes on a form of controlling, and will end up in removing any friends or family members from this persons life as much as they can get away with, when the person tries to take back control to keep a friend or family in there life then the offender will start to resort to abuse to control them, at first the signs are damaging personal belongings, then if that doesn't work it will escalate to threats of self injury including suicide, again if this doesn't work it will start to escalate to abuse to the person they are trying to control such as battery, and if not intervened at this level by family or the law the end result will be the killing of the person they can not control, they look at it like if they can not have them then no one will, these signs should be watch for anytime you have a friend or loved one getting involve with another, but we also must remember it can be hard to get a friend or loved one to see what is taking place as they are looking at it from the inside out, and that the reason they got involved with this person is because they were wanting someone in their life, this can be very hard to get through to them, but if caught in the first stages you can give them the signs to watch for, let them answer these very important questions:

    Is this person in their life for themselves or for each other
    Do they have a desire to make the other happy and fill there needs of life or are they only out for themselves
    Do they try to control to get what they want.
    Do they try to remove you from your friends and or family's lives to keep you all to themselves
    Are they very jealous as this is a very good sign of possession which is just another name for ownership of this person, this is not a true loving relationship but a one sided material belonging they think they have a right to own you.

    We must teach our love-ones these traits so they can watch out for them in any relation they might enter into.

    With the above story we can see that this person has got to the point of damaging the girls possession by burning her car to try to control her to keep her from leaving him, the next steps are spelled out above and if not stopped will continue till this girl is battered or even killed, unfortunately the law can only react on facts or after the fact, it is important for family or friends to intervene before it gets to the next steps, and get this guy out of her life for good as it has already been allowed to go to far.
    September 29, 2012 9:12 pm on Jail inmate charged with continuing to threaten former girlfriend
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